#200

Ever since university life started, June will be like my new year, not January. Why?

Because my academic year starts June and end the next June. So the moment i manage to step into a new academic year in June ill be the happiest kid because it means graduation is nearby! *fingers crossed* so i mange to graduate on time. I've got so many more fun things to discover outside. But, first, lemme finish muh degree because i know how much hope my parents have in me to get at least a degree. I can't wait to breathe a total new fresh air and start planning on my journey. Planning is easy, but to do it, nope, not that easy. 

Let me take some time to just speak out a lil' not too much about myself where i just don't go around telling. Why?

Because i don't think anyone would care. Or, i haven't actually found someone(minus the boy) who i can 100% have the comfort to talk to, to share, to have full support in whatever i need to say or do. Also, includes advice that will motivate me. ;)

In my mindset, never is never my thing but i am deeply saddened by how i got so affected by peer comments. I just can't seem to switch my brain like *stop stop stop*. I am trying tho.

lemme start?

#1 I might be annoying at times. THIS IS AY FACT.

I have to admit myself that i can be annoying at times. (Karma). I used to get annoyed so blardy fast, i just runaway from people. BUT, i always have the mindset that, people who annoy you are those that really care for you when you got everyone to turn their backs on you. Now and then, when i feel that im annoyed by someone, i stop for a moment, breathe and just slowly with a smile reply to their questions/conversation. Then i stop and think of the things they helped me in, the nice things they did for me. It helps for me. i don't know if it is for you. Sooner or later, i just find my annoyance grip to loose up and i just savour the moment i have with them. 

#2 I've always wanted to do wedding photoshoot

I ain't no good in photography at all but ever since high school, i really enjoy just staring at the inspiration a photographer get while shooting really creative wedding pictures. A few of the wedding photographer inspired me and still inspires me. One of them is Bobbykiranyeo on Instagram and another one is, Lightedpixels Pixies on facebook. :) I love love love just scrolling through their photography. I don't know, i have this thing for weddings. It just gave me so much happiness just watching people tear or smile in so much happiness.

#3 I've also wanted to have a shop on wedding planner

I may suck at it but i really don't mind to learn from scratch and to finally be a wedding planner one day. I've always wanted to start work at an event planning company but mostly those companies accept event majors first. Its okay, i shall not stop trying because giving up is just like a failure in my life. :D

#4 i love having my time fully occupied

I know how being so occupied might worn out the energy by the end of the day and most people just hate it? Not for me at the time where stress just come out of no where. Unless i am on getaway mode then i just wanna be occupied bu peace and silence. I love being occupied in days because being worn out can definitely give me goodnight sleeps. I tend to get emotional when i have nothing to do at night other than staying in my room. That leads to emotional sleep and i just hate it when i am not happy. I cant control my emotions somehow because things eventually get into my mind. Do i sound like ive got depression? Please tell me if i do but i doubt so la. I just classify myself as thinking too much. So what i do? I usually blast music to my ears or ill just let it be a quiet night. When it is quiet night i really let my phone to just stay there and reply texts only once in a while. I somehow just feel like a good therapy for me. 

#5 I love making people happy

Oh trust me, i just feel so reluctant writing these because i can never change this fact. I know it is not good pleasing people but it is somehow like in my blood already. I cannot, make people angry or sad or emotional because ill feel so bad that ill blame myself for everything. Then when i realize it is not my fault, ill go like 'why am i so stupid?'. This, happens like ALL THE TIME. I tried so hard not to be this way. Sometimes, i tend to try so hard making people happy, i forgot my own happiness. This time, wiser by choosing who deserve my good treat. :)

#6 If i cry in front of you, it means i've reach my limit of holding back
I don't usually cry in front of people, but when i do, that means i cannot hold back anymore. (Don't talk about movies okay) I prefer crying to myself before i sleep under my blanket OR covering my face to the boy's chest. Yes, even if i do cry in front of him, i don't like showing my crying face to him.

#7 Under the blanket will forever be the safest place for me when i am alone
I think only the boy know about this because i told him, so far, no one (except for my family AND BLANKET) gave me the very secure feeling. Since i am in university, no matter how hot the weather is, i will still cover myself under my blankie because i feel more safe. :)

#8 I don't know how to make up
Maybe i do, just that i need to learn but seriously, all i am able to do is to draw eye liner and apply my monolid sticker. :) I used to think make up makes me look ugly

#9 I never worry about getting fat
When people say 'You're fat', ill be so happy and still continue to eat. Maybe that's a great thing because i can enjoy all food in the world without worrying how to control my diet. I just eat everything and have fun with food. Not that i can eat a lot actually, i am more to snacking than a proper meal.

#10 When i am lazy, i am definitely lazy
Trust me, i know this very well in myself because when i am lazy, i can be super lazy. But when i really start working or studying, i will definitely focus. That's me. Wait! To get me into the serious mode, ain't that easy. :D

That's a lil not too much about myself. Enjoy reading and i hope this never bore you. ;)