Breathing

This semester has really been pretty relaxing semester in my entire university life. Except that i worked full time 3 days a week. I was so keen about going off to the next phase of life cause thats how tired i am being here. I was so sure about loving my job more than my university life. Then it hit me, its waking up to my morning alarm probably 6 days a week to go to work. This semester, i have been resisiting my morning alarm a lot that i was pretty much late to work 50% of my work days. Another reason will be solely because the boss is also a friend to me. I really would love to get out of this place but, now that i think of it, since its one of the semester where i felt so relax, i should literally enjoy every bit of it. 

On other side note, talking about the journey im in. Is it going to make an impact for myself in future? I dont know. I really wish i can be more knowledgeable,  independent and have better communication/ social skills. I wish i learn about volunteerism way earlier. I wish i had my dreams planned earlier. I wasnt demanding for more but i just wished when i look back at my past, i will be proud of what ive worked to build myself to be who i am today. As much as i have a little feeling of regret, i am still thankful for the lessons learnt, the memories made, the people who came into my life and help me build a better self today, and for the people who have become my mentor and never gave up on me. 

Ive started to delete social medias i have. It is now left with facebook because i still have my assignments pending to be done. Facebook will not be a permanent social media that i delete but i will do a clean up. Most people don't understand the main point of me deleting all these. I only get 'omg, you so drama' or 'omg, who you drama with now?' which is totally non of that. I realized i spent way too much time on all of that, also, i don't really want to get affected by what is posted on the social media as i really just want to focus on graduating. I get easily affected by what i see sometimes and then get all emotional. For example, i extended a semester and thus delayed a year of my convo. You probably say 'aiya, dont worry about it one lah. Nothing one'. That's what i thought, until i realize the people i am all closed with are all out and about looking for job, preparing for the convocation and here i am sitting all alone just trying to catch up with them. Sometimes, it sucks to feel like you are left behind. I know how much i am at fault for all this but this is life. We never learnt until something impacted us. Also, i know how much i have screwed up in my university life previously. It will never be erased from my mind but i just want to take a break and begin again. There, i explain why i deleted my social media. I will reopen a new one when i start work again. 

I am starting to send out resumes because i won't be planning a graduation trip for myself. So, id rather start work straight away so i won't be lazy. :)

#nowplaying - A team acoustic cover

Sign off,

Jan