So, hi. I am not someone who can afford to come up with beautiful amazing words or title. I've decided to just do it simple so everyone can understand. My English ain't that good, but it's okay, i am still trying to improve. Like i said, no successful man gone through a perfect road. In approximately a month and 17 days, the calendar will hit 2013. It is sometimes scary how time flies. I remember how i used to blogged about being a coward to start my tertiary education and now i am already in my first year second semester. A year in foundation taught me so much. How i grow stronger as i stay away longer from home. Ever since calling Malacca as my second home because now i spent most of my time here, i haven't get the chance to be back in my home for at least a month. No, i am not complaining about it neither do lament bout it because i made this decision. I never dared to turn back time or even say 'Shit! I regret choosing this place'. My mum will either slap me so hard or i will probably do that myself.
For the first few months staying away from home, i love it. I seriously love it. The freedom, nagging-free, scolding-free, chores-free and others. After one semester, i realize leaving home it's really not about all that. Yes, freedom, no one to nag or scold you, but living home with my parents 17years, and now i am not, it's hard. I am so blessed and i thanked God that i successfully gone through all that till now. In my own point of view, i've changed. I don't know for the better or worst. I do know one thing, that i learned so many different kind of experience that tells me 'welcome to the real world outside of home.' People hate me, people like me, i don't know. All i know, this is life. The people, the society. Every time terrible things happened, i tell myself 'Everywhere I go, it will be the same. You have people commenting about what you do, loving what you do, or the other way round. Just remember, the purpose of you surviving this far is for yourself. Not others.'
To me, if i don't like that thing to happen to me, i will try so hard to not to do it to others. Just like, i really don't like being hurt, so i tried not to hurt others. Who likes being hurt, and who can avoid not hurting others? If you really do, you're really an amazing human. We can't pleased everyone at the same time but sometimes we just wish we could. Well, it's okay. I do feel like an 'asshole' sometimes when i have to turn some people down and leave hurt-prints in them. Often i think, why is it that some people just can't understand me or even try to. I've always try so hard to pleased others and ended up hurting myself. When i do, very little of them come back and say 'Hey, are you okay?' but all they do is 'Omg Janice, i am so disappointed in you. I am hurt! Just don't talk to me. Just shh!' That, hurts even more. Call me drama queen, call me emotional queen but i am not a robot, i break down too. I tried to hold back so many times which is i think, not a good thing.
Well, hi to those that successfully read the whole long draggy post. I am not seeking for sympathy, or even asking you to pity me. Sorry, i don't like doing that. I just want to tell you, whatever happens, stay strong. The least i could asked you to do is care less. Hurt less, pleased more. No, i mean pleased yourself more sometimes. Some people tend to think more about pleasing others and forget about themselves. By then, you will realize that you're living a really really sad life. Care for the right reasons, not because you just want to know about things happening around. :) And, have a great ahead. I guess, if i continue, you prolly sleep by then. So, thank you for reading. Enjoy your day. Sincerely, Jan.
For the first few months staying away from home, i love it. I seriously love it. The freedom, nagging-free, scolding-free, chores-free and others. After one semester, i realize leaving home it's really not about all that. Yes, freedom, no one to nag or scold you, but living home with my parents 17years, and now i am not, it's hard. I am so blessed and i thanked God that i successfully gone through all that till now. In my own point of view, i've changed. I don't know for the better or worst. I do know one thing, that i learned so many different kind of experience that tells me 'welcome to the real world outside of home.' People hate me, people like me, i don't know. All i know, this is life. The people, the society. Every time terrible things happened, i tell myself 'Everywhere I go, it will be the same. You have people commenting about what you do, loving what you do, or the other way round. Just remember, the purpose of you surviving this far is for yourself. Not others.'
To me, if i don't like that thing to happen to me, i will try so hard to not to do it to others. Just like, i really don't like being hurt, so i tried not to hurt others. Who likes being hurt, and who can avoid not hurting others? If you really do, you're really an amazing human. We can't pleased everyone at the same time but sometimes we just wish we could. Well, it's okay. I do feel like an 'asshole' sometimes when i have to turn some people down and leave hurt-prints in them. Often i think, why is it that some people just can't understand me or even try to. I've always try so hard to pleased others and ended up hurting myself. When i do, very little of them come back and say 'Hey, are you okay?' but all they do is 'Omg Janice, i am so disappointed in you. I am hurt! Just don't talk to me. Just shh!' That, hurts even more. Call me drama queen, call me emotional queen but i am not a robot, i break down too. I tried to hold back so many times which is i think, not a good thing.
Well, hi to those that successfully read the whole long draggy post. I am not seeking for sympathy, or even asking you to pity me. Sorry, i don't like doing that. I just want to tell you, whatever happens, stay strong. The least i could asked you to do is care less. Hurt less, pleased more. No, i mean pleased yourself more sometimes. Some people tend to think more about pleasing others and forget about themselves. By then, you will realize that you're living a really really sad life. Care for the right reasons, not because you just want to know about things happening around. :) And, have a great ahead. I guess, if i continue, you prolly sleep by then. So, thank you for reading. Enjoy your day. Sincerely, Jan.
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