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My retina detachment journey

Never thought i will be back into this space because never really had the time to blog anymore. However, today i am taking some time off from my recovery to write about what i have been facing since August 2018. Let's begin :

All started with a gray spot vision on my lower left of my right eye. I was literally so chill that i only decided to head to the doctor after the 3rd day, being pushed by my director to go. 

I only went to the general clinic below the office cause why not? Clinic doctor is still a doctor. He then referred me immediately to an eye specialist in Prince Court. Took a grab there and it is where it all began. 

Above is my Iris scan (yup never knew bout all this). It is where they sort of scan the eye balls and scan your retina (if that is the right way to explain it). Unfortunately, i cant explain the graphic above because i am not a pro but i can explain to you guys the last 2 graphics at the bottom. 

The left graphic is my right eye while the other is left eye. Normally, eye liquid level should be like the right graphic but its sad my retina on my right eye tore/detached. Explains why the 1st graphic, my retina tore/detached and the liquid has already entered and covered part of my vision. 

What scares or shock me most is when the doctor said ‘Girl, you need to do an operation immediately. Like really immediately’. Only thing that came to my mind ‘how much?’ She said ‘35k?’ 

Like i said, i am always so chill that while i was going through all this by myself, i am also texting one of my colleague who was nice enough to help me find out regarding the medical insurance under my company. (Because Your Highness have not buy insurance for herself)

I had to hold the doctor’s arrangement because its a huge amount for me to settle. So i told her ‘can you please let me think bout this tonight and meet you again tmr?’ 

And then immediately called my parents.

While the doctor said okay, she was already trying to schedule an appointment for me with the hospital surgeon. Then the nurse dash in and say ‘im sorry but the surgeon is out of the country. We need to refer you to another hospital immediately’. 

And im like ‘sure’ (cause then i can get second opinion?). The doctor immediately call up whoever she knows to let me schedule an appointment while the nurse pulled me aside to another room.

(conversation translated for BM to english) 

Nurse : Sister, you need to visit the other surgeon tonight okay? Please please dont wait anymore. I work as eye nurse for 20 years, this situation can make you go blind in just any minute. Please ya. See, i whatsapp our surgeon, she say the same thing. 

Me : Okay (while trying to digest everything and put on that serious mode cause i really so chill until this nurse say this)

There were multiple options for me to choose from for me to visit but the doctor decided she would call and make an appointment for me directly with another surgeon in Pantai whom she know off. 

After that, she actually proceeded to perform laser to my left eye because she mentioned there are also bits and pieces of tear in my left retina. (A decision i did not think much but say yes to because she said if i dont it will become like the right eye).

I was never educated on eyes previously and trust me, many thought this laser will allow me to go without my specs. Just to let you guys know that is classified more under beauty laser while mine is retina tear laser. 

It can be quite painful tbh and all the while i see green flashes. The whole process took about 15 minutes and i had to keep my eyes open at all time. I was just tearing the whole time. (Not cry but the eye teared due to opening my eye)

The next day (Surgery and right after surgery)

The specialist at Prince Court secured me an appointment with a surgeon in Pantai hospital. Went over at 9am in the morning and immediately went into eye check and meeting the doctor. As i brought along my reports from Prince Court with me, there is no need for me to redo the whole scan. The surgeon just told me that we will proceed with the operation and explain roughly how everything will be taking place. 

I had to start fasting from 11am and wait for my operation at 4pm. Checked in to the hospital at 2pm and do my last scroll on my phone or text whoever i need to text.  My mom on the other hand was more nervous than i am. Honestly, i wasn't even close to nervous because i have no idea what to feel. To me, it is good to remain calm and let your surgeon do what he need to do because nervous doesn't help in any way. 

My operation took about an hour and the half. I can prepare you that the AFTER SURGERY is not fun at all. The whole feeling after waking up especially. Of course, the anesthetic was also doing its thing where you feel super dizzy after surgery. Skipping that to explaining what the surgeon did to my right eye. I undergo Vitrectomy procedure. Please refer below for further explanation. My surgeon inserted gas bubble into my eye. 

Below is the source from online article as it will be a better explanation in medical terms. 
Click here for more information. 

With the gas bubble there are certain things that you cant do. I will paste an article for further reference (click here)but i will type out roughly the few things that i cant do. A few of these are mainly what we do in daily life. 

- You cannot perform any vigorous exercise that may cause straining to your eyes

- You cannot lift heavy things

- You cannot fly or travel to place above 1000 feet due to the pressure

- You need to avoid dusty and water to avoid inflammation

- Do not ever rub your eyes

Recovery journey

You definitely do not have your vision until the gas bubble goes away. The whole process might take around 1 - 2 months depending on the type of gas bubble used and how you are taking care of it. It took about a month for me to see half the vision and it is actually quite frustrating when the gas bubble is halfway gone because the gas bubble move along with your motion and it will feels like you are underwater. It can make you dizzy after a while. Anyway, i totally understand how frustrated it can be having only 1 side vision. So do remember to take a deep breath and remind yourself it is only temporary. 

You will need to go back to the hospital for regular check up depending on your doctor's arrangement. Of course, things were all going so well and i felt so happy to have at least half my vision back. I was already back at work for a week. On Thursday, my manager has suggested if i should need more time to rest or at least work from home. (I am honestly blessed with amazing teammates and manager who never stop taking care of me and making sure things were okay.) 

Things turned around 

Remember i had half of my vision back? On the same Thursday, after lunch, i went back to my office and that part of the vision went off. I immediately pick up my bags and decided to head to the hospital. This time, i was nervous. Really nervous because the vision that went off is exactly the same thing when i found out i had retina detachment. I was nervous because all the thoughts about my recovery journey and my surgery might be just gone to waste. 

Thankfully i managed to secure  a last minute appointment before my doctor goes off to another hospital. I figured that things cannot wait until tomorrow because i NEEDED TO KNOW what happened. They did eye check and scan on my right eye. 

It's time to meet my doctor and he did another quick check. He turned to my parents and i, he said "Unfortunately, her retina is detached again. We will need to do another surgery tomorrow morning." My heart sank. What did i do to deserve this? Was it because i walked in a public place? Was it because i was gently tapping on my eye lid when it hurts a little? Was it because i might have accidentally stretch my head too much? The doctor said "It might be due to the growth of new tissues that pulled on your scar which cause the retina to detach again. This is common among younger age people as their tissues grow fast. 

I did not cry but i was numb. I did not know what to feel. I immediately cancelled all the plans i had in place before because all i ever want to focus this time is my recovery. I cannot let it become a 3rd. I was just quiet all along because i needed that space at the very moment. 

Checked in and surgery 

I checked in to the hospital that night itself and started fasting from 12am since my surgery will be at 7am. I wasn't nervous at all because i already know what i will be going through. This time i will be going through Vitrectomy too but he will be removing the gas bubble and replaced them with silicone oil. Silicone oil has more side effects than gas bubble such as possibility of developing cataract and you cannot gain back your 100% vision due to the oil that sticks to your lens. You may refer here  to read further. 

Recovery journey

It has been 3 weeks now since my surgery sitting in front of the laptop just typing away on this. I still cannot see. The picture below best describe my vision.

(Picture source from Google)

I guess that is all so far of my retina detachment surgery. I am still on the recovery and i pray that this recovery goes well. To anyone that is also going through retina detachment and you need someone to talk to, can hit me up at the comment section. You are strong and you can do it! 

If you ask how to know if you have retina detachment
Honestly, i never knew until my eye sight went off! It was a sudden thing when i woke up from bed. Scary isn't it. There is another way to realize is that if you see floaters in your vision, it means you need to start heading to an eye specialist/ophthalmology. My advise, take some time off to visit the eye specialist once in a while because it is good to get an update on your eyes. 

My feeling
I will leave this on the next post because i do not want this post to go on and on without ending. 

To those who actually took the time to read everything, i sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart and taking time to write this without having my full vision back is not as easy as you think. My heart goes to those who is going through this because it is not easy. Honestly, i do not want to gain sympathy or trying to be all sad because i know there are people going through much tougher times but this is a post for me to read back and remember what i been through. This post was also written to let those who is going through the same thing know that it will be okay and don't be afraid. 

Thank you once again and till then. 

Signing off,
Jan

Dust it away

I certainly miss blogging and to dug out my dusty laptop just sitting in front of it typing away seems weird. I honestly have not been sitting down just reading through blogs or even just do what i used to love doing. I guess working has taken so much time away from me especially my energy. Mentally and physically. So drained but i guess we all need a job to sustain life and i should hang in there.

Hoping that things will get better. 

xo, Jan

What my job taught me everyday about people

A year now in recruitment industry and it definitely have taught me a lot. I know that seasons changed, generations too. I dont know about others but this is just from my point of view. Its pretty tiring sometimes to deal with difficult people in life but i guess, we all cant escape it even in normal life.

Going into this industry, i had the 'i can help people to get job, and earn at the same time! Why not? Its something i really love doing.' Then i realised, it aint the same because everyone has different perspectives, demands, attitudes and characters.

I wouldnt deny that dealing with people has definitely worn me out, especially difficult ones. Regardless clients or candidates. However, i always had to held my head up high and increase my patience because it is my job and it is what helps to put food on my table. Needing it more than it needs me.

Lets start from candidates side. Ive seen a lot on linkedin, i could say everyday, there will be words on how unprofessional recruiters are. I truly understand because candidates, some are desperate for jobs, some just really need a reply. There is no right or wrong way to handle this but it is all how we are.

Recruiters dont only have viewing cvs in their job scope. Recruiters these days (i dont know about others but mine do) have a lot of other side task to handle too. They also dont only have 1 cv to view but many more. I believe they could have do an auto reply but even that, some people isnt happy. Most recruiters these days, open up cv and try matching it with job orders they have. If none, they will put it on hold and maybe call later. Economy is changing rapidly these days too and most demand needed can be specific certificate, specific skill, specific language or etc so company can minimise training. Candidate that match 99% and missed the 1% could be the reason why company reject profile too. Some recruiters, could feel really sad and wasted where some may try hard to still sell the candidate.

Candidates, most really needed job. Me, being a candidate before too understand that the anxiousness always make me refresh my email 10 times a day hoping for a reply or call. Candidates do have their own right too on feeling that recruiter are unprofessional. Most really do. Therefore, recruiter shouldnt feel annoyed when candidates may call a few days once to check on their status.

How i think things can be better,

Recruiter that doesnt practice replying can draft a standard reply that can inform the candidate that you have viewed but looking for something that matches them. Take 1 minute to maybe drop them a call when you are free and just have a chat with them to understand who they are and how they are. After all, most candidates do respect on the daily job you are doing. If the candidate is not worth to be put aside, maybe you can share them with your existing clients to see if they can help this person to fill up any roles in the company.

Candidates, recruiters understand that looking for a job and continuously being turned down can be frustrating. However, dont vent your anger on the recruiters. How about, treating a recruiter like you are talking to a future employer's hr. Recruiters may be rude and if you get angry, we understand because humans, not all are angels. However, most recruiters know that, if talking to them itself you are rude, how will it portray to the client that they are sending you to. There are so many ways and things to improve on generations these days, especially on 'how to send a proper email when applying for a job' and 'how to respond in a proper way when you need to understand better on the job'.

Recruiters, if you need the candidate to be nice and respecting you,be nice and professional too. Candidates, if you need recruiters to be giving you attention, try dropping an email, giving them a short call maybe and introduce yourself. 

An impression is quickly judged based on the first time engagement before one truly understands someone deeper.

Soaring

Oh wow, Time flies and so many things happened at the span of few months. Missed blogging but i dont have the patience to actually sit in front of my very lagging laptop and draft out thoughts in my mind. Anyway, still getting used to growing in the fast pace of career life which i am very much trying to catch up. There undeniably so much to learn and to come to know off (good and bad) when we are adult-ing.

One wise words from one of my clients 'Hey. Don't always be so nice. Be more selfish because look at the society around you, everyone only bothers about themselves.' True. So true. Yes that we all want the best for ourselves but at times i wish some people can have some thoughts about caring for people.

So much of discovery about myself and i am always confused because i let people's words take over my thoughts a lot. Isn't healthy because i tend to let my decisions sit on the edge of the fence. Then i get confuse on which side to fall on to.

Aside to that, i got my dream job, which i am hoping things go smoothly and i pray that nothings bad comes in on the way. I am definitely happy to be getting my dream job but is this the right choice? I dont know and i am still figuring out. I have felt like i am no longer someone who deserves to give out advice to my juniors that speaks out to me. Maturing and adult-ing is tough and learning to make decision becomes way more tough.

Let's pray God will bring me to the path that satisfy me.

Jan.  

Types of candidates recruiters faced

1. The i-will-go but disappeared completely during interview day.
50% of the candidates are famous for this. They tell you so confidently about going to the interview and on that day, you either receive email from client they didn't turn up or you called like a thousand times but their number is no longer reachable.

What they could have done :
Have the courtesy to tell us politely that they cant join the interview or have thought that they would like to forgo this opportunity that may think is not that suitable. We are humans, we might get really angry but we don't bite. At least we are informed.

2. The death and accidents excuses
This one, win. Really win. I have never in my life of 23 years heard of so many accidents and deaths in a week. I wouldn't blame some of them because i know some of them are really true. However, come on lah. Why do you even involve other innocent people.

What they could have done :
If you really don't want to go, again, just tell us you don't want to. I mean may seem irresponsible but it's more irresponsible if you lied and don't turn up last minute. Is it really that difficult to just tell the truth?

3. The desperado but demanding
Have you ever met the type of candidates that tell you please help them to find job and please offer them something. Then when you actually did, they say 'Nolah i want salary RM3000 above, i don't want rotational shift, only normal working hours.' Recruiter probably will give them the sweat face because with the economy now, you should be taking what you have. At least is legal.

What they could have done :
I understand that normal working hours thing but if you are already desperate, finding for you a suitable job but with a little low salary, just take it first? There is no harm to have it and still continue to look for a better one. No one ask you to stay in the job forever.

4. The one that applies for everything because desperate but ask you 'What is that job again?'
Come one! At least write down somewhere what you have applied for rather than clicking on everything and end up rejecting it all over because you are just desperate but you don't like the job. You waste both parties time. Time is precious!

What they could have done :
Don't ever do this. Never show a HR how desperate you are for a job. Know what you are applying for. Most importantly, read through the job description and make sure you apply only if you are good to go with everything. You are the one who need the job, not that we are desperate to have you. Never show a HR you are desperate because they know if you have finally found something of your interest, you will definitely move away. No employer is that free to invest on an employee who is not serious.

5. The one that calls like 10 times a week just to ask 'Hi. Have you found me a job?'
True that sometimes recruiters may have a little too many candidates but to be honest, if you stand out and lowered down your expectations towards getting a job, we could have already find you a job long ago?

For those who are 50 years old or 45 years old and above. We know how much you really want a permanent job but with the economy now, it is tough because companies would prefer investing on freshers who they could definitely pay much lesser.

What they could have done :
When you walk in to ask for a job, bring a hard copy resume and a soft copy one. Make sure all your information is all in the resume, especially your number and what sort of job you are looking forward to. You don't need to call everyday to check but you can maybe call 2 times a month. May be annoying to some recruiters but it is enough to remind them about you and also just a good count of times to not annoy them? What i would personally look forward to.

For those 50 years above, take up part time instead of keep waiting for permanent.

6. Complain from A-Z about the job after getting to it
First of all, you came to us to ask for a job and then we send you for an interview. You take the offer and decided to go with it. You don't like it and then you started to complain of quitting and blame us for the lousy services we have given to you.

What they could have done :
Before going for interview, do a research on the company. Know well of what you will be doing. We can never control the HR behavior, but we can at least try to speak to them. We understand how you think complain is the best way ever to vent but to be honest, no. It just makes you look like a pampered person who doesn't even try?

7. The desperate candidate that spam call and text you after 10pm. 
Hello please. You don't need sleep, i need one okay. The worst one i received was 3am in the morning. Thank God for my deep sleep or else i would have been answering the phone and screaming. Also another one, where spam call me after 10pm. So i politely texted

Me : Hi. I cannot attend to you now as i am about to sleep. I will call you tomorrow when i get into the office.
Them :  Call me. I need job. 

Oh hello, 'so what?' I mean i desperately want to reply that but then i still nicely give a chance and say,

Me : 'I understand. I will call you tomorrow.' 
Them : Call me. Remember.
Me on frustration : Excuse me. First, you didn't bother to introduce yourself, and then you spam call me so late and still can be so demanding. 

What the could have done :
If you see an advertisement on sites and you know it is late, just drop off a nice message, introducing yourself and politely just maybe ask them for an email for you to send a resume or something. If they are awake, they would definitely give you a call or just give you their email. If they might have forgotten to reply you, just give them a call in the morning. They don't deal with you alone, there are like hundreds of them doing the same.

Okay, i guess pretty much sums up a little bit of what type of people i face but i guess most recruiters faced it too. Don't take this as a rant but look at it as probably a way to help you when you go through a recruitment company? Don't want to also write more because then it would sound like i am just complaining. It is just my two cents and hoping that more candidates realize this.

Appreciate it! Thanks for reading.

Love, Jan.

#countmyblessings

Hello dusty blog, again.

Fighting over the cold and being emotional the whole day because i know i have work to be completed and i was just denying the fact that i should be doing it.

It is 10pm and before i prepare myself for work tomorrow morning, i want to write on #countmyblessings. Reminding myself that as much as what i am feeling right now sucks, i still should look at the positive side and know that little things may not seem like a big thing it might meant a lot to others.

I mean we all should count our blessings right? I realize complaining so much and i get more emotional which causes me to dislike certain things more and more.

My joy for work is declining more and more but i should learn to hang on because the hard work helps me to put food on my table. I still can enjoy the simple luxury that i should be thankful about. I have colleagues that doesn't have as much drama as the previous one. Also, a boss that have so much patience teaching me instead of screaming at me like ive killed someone. Not to forget the time where i manage to head back home early rather than late night.

My small rented room. I have been complaining about how small, and how the stuffiness caused me so much of nose ithcy-ness but at least i have a shelter to come home to. I have a comfortable bed that allows me to sleep soundly. Maybe i will be moving out when i have a better pay but for now, i should be grateful with what my income can provide me rather than no shelter at all.

My colleagues that i used to complain about. I dont do double face, if i am angry i show it very clearly. I should really calm down myself and try to work it out in other way rather than turning my back. Disliking and talking behind someone's back doesn't really help much. Work it out in other ways and then eliminate the dislike feeling. It is not healthy at all which i think many people in workplace should learn how to work on it.

Count my blessings.

Jan. xx

Convocation vs Moving On

Hello rusty blog. Sitting in front of the old laggy laptop updating like finally. I miss blogging but to find the perfect time to blog, is hard. I am living a normal unmarried life that work normal office hour person and i still find it hard to spare time to blog. I just don't know how those famous bloggers do it. I salute them totally. 

Anyway, after what seems to be like weeks, i am finally updating on my convocation and moving on from my university life. It is hard to finally accept i am really out of being a student life and officially a lady with a career. It is still a juggling period for me in career phase but sometimes you got to do what you got to do no matter it is shit or not. 

I have like so many pictures to upload but i guess this will do since my blog is public and i don't think i should just publicize about my friends online without their permission. 

I wasn't actually keen on my convocation as it was totally long due and i just had no feeling celebrating my graduation result. Embarrassment but i do this for my parents. They have come such a long way, supporting me through it all and i think it is right to share this moments with them. 

 Nothing special to talk about my convocation but the pictures are such good memory to keep. I mean it is once in a lifetime things even if you take a second degree, you only convo for a degree once in a lifetime.  

So hello, to the Monday to Friday, 8.30am to 5.30pm routine. Officially. 

It is 2 and a half month to my 3rd job where i am doing recruitment. To be honest, it isn't my forte and the environment i am in is not something i enjoy but i promise myself to hang on and stay on. Stop changing job without getting a proper experience. We cannot get things the perfect way we wanted because we are humans that make mistakes too. However, if we have the right mindset, we can change the situation. 

Working is definitely exhausting but it is part of life. Recruitment taught me so many things and it is more of like learning about treating people right, than the knowledge about recruitment itself. Meeting up with people is easy, talking to them is easy, dealing with the shits they throw to you, sucks. This job, taught me about how i should be think before i speak, how i should be relevant in situations and learn to look from the person's perspectives, how to not be irrational just because i think i am right, etc etc. 

I can see white hair growing on my head but every time i get really tired, i just got to take a deep breath and get some fresh air. Then i tell myself 'we cannot please everyone, breathe and let's work things out and look at things from another side'. I am just really surprised at how some people have the guts to actually do the shitty things to other people like they do not have feelings themselves. You know how when you just wished you could slap the sh*t out of someone but you can only smile to them like you have no heart to feel. You dont want to get the 'she is a rude consultant' from your boss. 

Well, at this point of time, i just have to learn to have a higher patience and endurance. 

For those who read this, and feel me as a recruiter, 'cheers'. 

Let me end this post by sharing a few funny memes with you. Signing off, Jan. 

 

Goodnight readers! :)

;its the parts and parcels

Hello readers! I am back from such a long pause. So much have happened and it all involves between my career life and me. It has been nothing but tough, all i hope right now is for this new one to be a stable one and that things will be better than before. I shed so much tears which i think made me stronger because to be honest i really dont cry that easily anymore. Maybe emotional but not to the point of tears. The weekend has never been so chilling and great. At this point, i could only feel blessed by so many things and people that walked me through tough times. 

I could only apologize countlessly to those who cared so much and i really couldnt spare much time with them. I spent less time catching up with people on my social platforms and this is actually pretty bad. I owe so many people honestly. Not in terms of money but my time on just sitting down to catch up with them. One thing i also realized about myself, when i am down i just tend to stay away from people and want fo be alone or only around certain people. 

Of course the first and most important one to thank will be God for sending me angels continuously throughout these period of time. Then it will be followed by, my parents, my family, Pam, Rae, Justine, Ming Yen, Zel, Mandy, Penguin, Michelle, Pqah, Nannie, my housemate and of course people who never failed to pray for me. All these people have literally helped me in so many different ways i just couldnt thanked them enough. 

I am still contemplating on writing on my previous work experience and what actually happened at my previous workplace. Maybe to cut the story short, it wasnt a pleasant journey and i learnt to look properly at the environment and people before i agree to accept a job. I left the company with no regret. I was feeling really stressed out and so much fear in me every morning going to work. Having fear everyday before heading to work shows how unhappy i am but i was planning to hang on until Penguin talked me out of it. Of course, with the peace i feel from the prayer and this time i did not leave my parents out of my decision making. 

Pay me a million to walk through all this again, i wouldnt even take it. People say 'it is part and parcels of life.' Some say 'you are only 23, it is okay about not achieving what you want yet' or 'you still have long way to go' etc etc. However, i really hate going through all this but i know it does make me stronger and wiser. That is definitely growing up journey. However, why i feel emotional about whatever that i am achieving is because to see what people around me are doing in their life is just wonderful and all i want is for my parents to feel proud of me. Not only that, but for them to also feel the sense of relief knowing that they do not have to worry about me surviving the outside world. 

Going through this also taught me about my faith, hope and frust in God and what He has planned for me. I know deep down it is all for good reasons and at the end of the day, only both Him and me knows what i am able to learn from it. God has never failed me in prayer nor in speaking to me through people. His words were all coming in at the right time. 

Today, i looked at where i stand. I am blessed for God who mever fail to love me no matter how much sin i may have done, a family who never turn their back on me no matter how stubborn or disobedient i am, church people who offer their prayer and time to listen no matter how busy they are, for my universities best friends that never stop loving me no matter how sometimes i can be such s bitch, my best friend back in hometown that keep me in her prayer day and night, Penguin that listens every now and then who also brought me into somewhere new, the house that i rent in which provide me an amazing balcony that i can chill and have alone time, my dad that provides me with what he can when i really fall into financial crisis and many more to list down. 

Little blesdings may be little but i count it because each and every blessings increases the joy in my life. I may not be living life as good as others but its simple enough to provide me with comfort and happiness. It is time to fight harder and give back to those who needs. Of course, for those who put so much faith in leading me to a happier life. 

Here is one with my precious angel. I miss my fambam. 

So far, life has been good and i believe it will be better soon.

Till we meet again,

Jann

Dear beloved parents

Everything below, is just a word solely from what i think and it may not be right but it is just what i feel maybe sometimes your child may want it this way. Please dont get to hard on this because i want to just express it from what ive heard. Thank you.

Dear parents,

We know how much you love your child. We know how much you care. We know how much you worry. We know how much you dont want to see them disappointed by the choices they make.

However, you have to understand, sometimes you have to take a deep breath, listen to what they really want. It may not be the best choice compare to the one you have in list for them but let them go and try it. It is okay, to see them come back crying or stressed up. The worst answer would have been 'i told you so'. The answer that let them feel relieved and they have you behind their back will be 'it is okay. You learn from wrong. Stand up stronger and learn to improve'.

You can worry forever but worry cannot help your child to grow. It only will bound them to stay within the comfort zone you have set for them because they are being trained to be given comfort zone instead of learning how to face life the harsh way. From there, you will realize you child is really not bound to be in outside world because they are not tough enough but they were not even given the chance to do so from beginning.

You will always tell your child 'listen to us. We experience before and we know. We are right'. Everyone is different in their own way, i would say even parents and their child. You can never tell a person they are made the wrong choice even before trying because they will never know where their limit is and the will think 'whatever my parents cannot face, that is the same for me'.

Sometimes you feel your child is not telling you anything. Have you ever think of the reason why? They are afraid of you? They are afraid of your rejection? They just feel unsupported? Any answers could be the right one. Please dont be so hard on your child. No one can always be right. Just take some time to listen to them and give them a better suggestion or solution to what they are facing. Scolding now, only makes them feel more pressured in telling you anything. Every child wishes that their parents are like their best friends who will always be their best listener, best support system, best backbone to lean on, best place to not feel pressure in making choices in life.

I know this may seem like i am really mean telling all of this. Like i saif, i may be right and may be wrong because i am a child too. I am just penning down my opinion. I am not trying to offend anyone nor trying to put anyone in a hard position. I just wish things would be better.

Sincerely,
Another child who wish for this.